Wedding Jitters
If you have decided to get married, the chances are that you will experience wedding jitters. Everyone does. Very few escape this, though it is possible for some rare persons to be completely cool about it. What is needed is to tackle the jitters, not the wedding plans or the idea of the wedding itself!
Wedding jitters is a type of phobia. A fear of the future. The thought that their lives would undergo major changes after they get married generates this phobia. In some cases, it is mild and in some quite severe. From the moment that the date for the wedding is fixed, he or she is likely to go into a trance or start believing that their lives would change into a living hell with new limitations on freedom, restrictions on movements etc. Such phobia is not restricted to one gender, both are susceptible.
Take comfort in the fact that wedding jitters are quite common. Just about every person who has experience of getting married has gone through it. It can be either – pre-wedding jitters or post-wedding jitters, or perhaps, both. Pre-wedding jitters start as soon as the decision to get married is made. It can pertain to the planning of the ceremony, the financial outlays and post-marriage life. Post-wedding jitters are about the changes to your life style, which takes some getting used to. Such jitters, pre and post can be injurious to your emotional health and can affect your relationships. Wedding jitters need to be tackled if your life is not to be ruined.
Post-wedding jitters occur due to the changed circumstances in one’s life. It does not mean that you start doubting your mate – on the contrary, you may be completely in love. What troubles you is your inability to adjust to the changes that married life brings on you. The time you spend with your friends and other pursuits like sports, movies etc, all need to be changed. These are inevitable and you may be unhappy because of that.
Wedding jitters do not follow a particular pattern. It can course through your psyche in waves, some emotions more intense than others, but come they will. You need to tackle it – there is no running away from it. So, the first step is to accept whatever is at the moment. Without trying to change your spouse, try and understand. Attempt to explain to her how much being with your friends mean to you. Clear up these issues by open discussions with your spouse. Do not expect perfection nor try to be perfect. No one is. Focus on all the good points and ignore the annoying ones till you can talk about them and resolve them. Not facing up to the jitters will not help. The sooner these issues are addressed and solved, the sooner the long happy journey together can start.
Wedding jitters is not the monopoly of the bride and the groom. Both sets of parents and other members of the family too go through it. It is nothing to be afraid of. It is just something that needs to be accepted, faced, tackled and overcome with patience and consideration.