Wedding jitters is a type of phobia.  A fear of the future.  The thought that their lives would undergo major changes after they get married generates this phobia.  In some cases, it is mild and in some quite severe. From the moment that the date for the wedding is fixed, he or she is likely to go into a trance or start believing that their lives would change into a living hell with new limitations on freedom, restrictions on movements etc. Such phobia is not restricted to one gender, both are susceptible.

Take comfort in the fact that wedding jitters are quite common.  Just about every person who has experience of getting married has gone through it. It can be either – pre-wedding jitters or post-wedding jitters, or perhaps, both.  Pre-wedding jitters start as soon as the decision to get married is made.  It can pertain to the planning of the ceremony, the financial outlays and post-marriage life.  Post-wedding jitters are about the changes to your life style, which takes some getting used to.  Such jitters, pre and post can be injurious to your emotional health and can affect your relationships.  Wedding jitters need to be tackled if your life is not to be ruined.

Post-wedding jitters occur due to the changed circumstances in one’s life. It does not mean that you start doubting your mate – on the contrary, you may be completely in love. What troubles you is your inability to adjust to the changes that married life brings on you.  The time you spend with your friends and other pursuits like sports, movies etc, all need to be changed. These are inevitable and you may be unhappy because of that.

Wedding jitters do not follow a particular pattern. It can course through your psyche in waves, some emotions more intense than others, but come they will.  You need to tackle it – there is no running away from it.  So, the first step is to accept whatever is at the moment. Without trying to change your spouse, try and understand.  Attempt to explain to her how much being with your friends mean to you.  Clear up these issues by open discussions with your spouse.  Do not expect perfection nor try to be perfect. No one is. Focus on all the good points and ignore the annoying ones till you can talk about them and resolve them. Not facing up to the jitters will not help.  The sooner these issues are addressed and solved, the sooner the long happy journey together can start.

Wedding jitters is not the monopoly of the bride and the groom.  Both sets of parents and other members of the family too go through it. It is nothing to be afraid of.  It is just something that needs to be accepted, faced, tackled and overcome with patience and consideration.

While it is good advice for normal living, particularly when going through a difficult period like planning for a wedding, the following steps will make for less stress.

•    Eat properly. Keep away from comfort foods, sweets etc.  This is the time for healthy and nutritious food, so that the effect of the tension on the body can be minimized.

•    If you already exercise regularly, do not stop but if you don’t, it’s time to start.  Exercise reduces stress by expending energy that actually drains the stress clear out of out physical system.  You do not have to go in for some massive amount of working out.  Just a good brisk walk at a convenient time, for about fifteen to twenty minutes will do.

•    Breathe properly.  You must be wondering what kind of advice this is! After all breathing is an automatic process, right?  Pay attention.  You are probably hyperventilating or taking quick shallow breaths.  This happens when you are under stress.  What you really need to do is to take deep slow breaths to bring your breathing back to normal.  Do this seriously, by inhaling till you fill your belly fully and exhaling slowly emptying the lung completely.

•    Do something to distract yourself and put away the wedding magazines and plans.  Read a novel, attempt a crossword or jigsaw puzzle. Go for a walk, attempt sudoku. Take a break!

•    Make yourself relax and here you will find that there are a number of techniques to help you if you do not know how to. Yoga, meditation or self-hypnosis, each or all together can be very effective to help you slow down and relax.  Self-hypnosis is different from meditation by being more focused and directed. It is possible to program oneself to be relaxed during the day.  You can use an anchoring device such as forming a ring with your forefinger touching your thumb, combined with a word such as “relax”.  Resort to this when you feel stressed.  You can use the services of registered hypnotists or hypnotherapists located in your neighborhood.  Visiting one may result in getting for yourself a personalized hypnosis CD that you can listen regularly.  There are many mass produced relaxation CDs in the market that also help in relaxing.